How to behave to get your boyfriend back. How to get a guy back: first steps, main mistakes and advice from psychologists

When we are in love, we feel good; when the moment of separation comes, we feel unhappy. And often this does not happen on our initiative. But the feelings remain... And every girl, woman has a question: “How can you get a guy back after a breakup?”

What do we have to do?

Most importantly, you must think about and decide whether to renew this relationship. When a couple is together for a long time, then each becomes dependent on the other, they get used to each other, although the feelings have long cooled down. Think, maybe it’s just hard for you to be alone, are you used to having someone nearby? But there are no feelings anymore.

If you still decide that it is worth returning the guy, then there are several recommendations for you.

Analyze your relationship, how it all began, why you liked each other, at what moments you felt good. And then clarify for yourself since when the quarrels and misunderstandings began, what irritated him about you and vice versa. You can make a list in the form of two columns: positive and negative sides. And work on your not-so-best sides, this should help you get the guy you love back and also gain his trust and interest.

Video: hope for a better relationship

Girls, the main thing is not to give up, fight for your happiness if it’s worth it.

He said "it's over!" packed his things and left. Being abandoned is painful and insulting, but it’s even worse if you are sure that this man was your other half and you can’t find another like him in the whole wide world. In this case, you can try to return it. But in order for the “return of a loved one” operation to have a greater chance of success, it is necessary to adhere to several rules and act in stages.

First step: Take a break

One of the main mistakes that girls make after breaking up is sending endless text messages to their ex, to which he often either does not respond at all or reacts aggressively. Prepare for this step to be the most difficult. You are absolutely not allowed to contact your ex for at least two weeks after the breakup.

Accept as a fact that since the man left, there were reasons for it. By starting to call and write to him on the very first night of his “free” life, you will only prove that he was right - you still didn’t understand anything. Remember that if your loved one wanted to talk to you, he would have done so and not left. Give him time to take a break from you, and give yourself time to cool down and heal your wounds.

If you really want to tell him how painful and sad it is for you to fall asleep alone in bed, write a message and save it in drafts. Or send it to a friend. Remember that the more pitiful you look in the eyes of a man, the less likely it is that you will be able to return him. After reading the message that you are standing on the windowsill and are about to jump, he will feel like a guilty bastard. But this is not the feeling that can revive your relationship.

Also, don't follow your ex's activity on social media. Firstly, he might find out about it - and he’s unlikely to like it, and secondly, you’ll drive yourself crazy wondering if his new friend on Facebook is his new crush, and why he checked in on your favorite one on Friday night restaurant (did he really take her on a date?) The only way to preserve your sanity is to block his status updates on all social networks, or even better, just not look there for at least a couple of weeks. Better read an interesting book.

Step two: Get back on your feet

You feel hurt and betrayed. You're angry at him for leaving without appreciating how wonderful you are. You cry endlessly because every thing around reminds you of a lost love - the song you danced to at the disco is playing on the radio, the movie you last watched, buried in his shoulder, is playing on TV, and the sweater in the store window is so similar to the one he wore...

Before you can try to make your relationship work, you need to regain your ability to think straight. This means crying and calming down.

Ask your friends for help - talk to them, go somewhere together. At this stage, it is advisable to avoid drinking alcohol, because if you are intoxicated, it will be more difficult for you to control yourself - and you may do something that you will regret later. For example, still write to your ex. Or find solace in the arms of the first person you meet.

If you are serious about improving your relationship, you need to become the person your ex-man once fell in love with. Remember what he liked about you when you first started dating?

Go to a beauty salon and get yourself a beautiful hairstyle. Do some general cleaning of your home. Join a fitness club and actually start working out. Learn to cook his favorite dish. If all this doesn’t help you get your ex back, it certainly won’t hurt you in your life after him.

Our body always strives for balance, for a stable and calm life. This is biologically determined - any drastic changes, no matter good or bad, entail changes, and the body understands that it will have to adapt again. And resists everything new.

Therefore, after breaking up, it is so important to understand whether you miss a specific person or everything that connected you with him. You need to move on to this step only when you are already on your feet - that is, you can remember joint candlelit dinners without tears and at least admit that this man may never return to your life.

Think about it - when you remember your ex, what do you miss most, what do you miss? His smell, his hugs, his smart statements about politics? Or maybe the way he took care of you, the way he complimented you? Try to imagine how you would feel if there was another man next to you who would do everything that you like so much about your ex - walk the dog, give you flowers for no reason, pick you up from work, take care of your parents ?

Now remember everything that you always didn’t like about the man who left you. Did he throw his socks on the bathtub floor instead of throwing them in the laundry basket? Was he always late and forgot to warn you? Did he spend his weekends hugging the computer, although you really wanted to spend this time outside the apartment? Keep in mind that if your man returns to you, everything that irritated you so much will return with him.

If, after all these thoughts, you are still convinced that your ex is the perfect man who should never be lost, it's time to move on to the next step.

Step Four: Understand the reason for the breakup and understand your role

To get your ex back, you need to fix the things that displeased him to the point that he decided to leave. And to do this, you just need to understand what reasons played a key role in his decision to break off your relationship.

He wanted to hang out with friends, but you liked to spend time alone at home (and weren't too fond of his friends)? Did you constantly argue about everything from “who throws out the trash today” to “why Obama won the US presidential election”? You dreamed of making a career, and he wanted to become a father? You got your tenth cat, and he has allergies?

The longer your relationship lasted and the more serious it was, the more likely it is that the reason for the breakup was not just one random fact, but a whole group of systematically repeating events. Try to track this “chain”.

Perhaps your man felt that you were too demanding of him, always scolding him and never praising him. What did your once loved one react especially sharply to? What particularly offended him about your words and actions?

Make a list of his complaints against you - this is far from the easiest task, for which you will need a lot of moral strength, but it is worth it, since you have decided to return the man.

Of course, if he wanted a thin blonde with blue eyes next to him, and you are a big-boned brunette with green eyes, it will be difficult for you to meet his requirements. But if your boyfriend or husband didn't like the fact that you emotionally blackmailed him into spending his free time with you instead of doing what he wanted, or that you didn't wash your dishes, well, you can work on it.

By the way, realizing the reason for the breakup is only half the battle. Now you need to really improve. Don't forget that even if you eliminate everything your boyfriend has ever complained about, there is still a chance that he won't want to get back into the relationship. Therefore, if you decide to work on yourself, do it not for his sake, but for your own sake.

Step Five: Invite the man to try again

You have calmed down, improved your life, realized the reasons for your separation and corrected the “shortcomings” - it’s time to let the man know that you are not averse to renewing the relationship.

Invite him to meet in a neutral place where nothing reminds you of your history - for example, in a new coffee shop. Don’t say that you need to “talk seriously” - it’s better to say “we haven’t seen each other for a long time, a lot has happened during this time, let’s meet and discuss the news, besides, I’ve been wanting to give you the scarf that you forgot from me for a long time.”

You can make an appointment only when you are one hundred percent sure that you will not start begging your ex to come back, cry just after seeing him and sarcastically wonder who is texting him every five minutes.

He should see in you not the girl he left, but the one he once loved. Be calm, friendly and confident. Prepare yourself for different options for the outcome of the meeting, rehearse - what will happen if you propose to get back together, and he says “I have another”? Or “I’m still not ready”? Or “I would love to, but I’m leaving for Iran for five years”?

Think about the words with which you will tell him that you still don’t mind being together. You should not declare that you cannot live without him and suffer every minute that he is not around - you should not put pressure on pity and beg. It’s better to say that you thought a lot about the reasons for your breakup and admit that you were wrong in many ways. Tell us how you worked on yourself and what you achieved. And note that you absolutely do not want to go back to what was before, but want to try to start the relationship from scratch, because, whatever one may say, you were so good together.

Don't expect your ex to jump into your arms right away; he may need some time to think about your proposal. No matter how he reacts, you can confidently tell yourself that you did everything in your power to save this relationship. And even if this didn’t help, well, apparently, this man is still not your soul mate.

Photo - photobank Lori

Just recently, you were happy with your beloved man, spent days and nights together, enjoying every moment of intimacy. You overcame difficulties together, quarreled and made peace, and were sure that your relationship would never end. But one fine day your boyfriend announced a breakup and left your life, leaving only pain and tears in your soul. You can quietly suffer, cursing your villainous fate, and blaming life for injustice, or you can think about how to get your boyfriend back after breaking up in order to become happy again.

If you do not intend to give up and want to return your love at any cost, then you need to act immediately. Give yourself a little time to recover from stress and begin implementing a plan to return the man you love. In order to cope with this situation, we bring to your attention a small list of mistakes to avoid and actions that will help you get everything back to normal. If you don’t sit back and wait for another girl to take your man, then you will be able to return his love and live as happily as before.

Trying to get a guy back: basic mistakes

Most girls trying to get their boyfriend back after a breakup make the same mistakes. In their desire to prove their love and please their loved one, they push him away from them even more and make it clear that they are unworthy of their partner. Sometimes it is very difficult to resist once again dialing your loved one’s phone number just to hear his voice. I want to be next to him, look into his eyes and explain that life without him has no meaning. Unfortunately, all these actions only aggravate the situation and make the man think that by leaving the girl he made the right decision. In order not to mess things up and not miss the chance to get your loved one back, try to avoid the following mistakes:

Don't humiliate yourself

No matter how hard it may be for you after a breakup, never humiliate yourself and beg your boyfriend to come back. Remember once and for all what phrases you should never say not only to your beloved man, but also to all other people:

“If you don’t come back to me, I will commit suicide”;
“Come back, I will forgive everything in the world!”;
“Do you want me to kneel in front of you?”

No normal man would want to stay close to a woman who has lost the last crumbs of her dignity. If you humiliate yourself and grovel in front of a guy, then instead of thinking about returning, he may have a strong desire to run away from you to the other side of the world. How can you love a woman who doesn't respect herself to such an extent that she continues to fawn over her boyfriend even after she's been dumped? Neither blackmail, nor humiliation and nor submission will help you return your beloved man - only pride and self-esteem will force him to maintain respect for you. And where there is respect, there is the opportunity to try again to come back.

Don't let him into bed

Sometimes girls who decide to get a guy back agree to have sexual relations with him after a breakup has occurred. They strive to please their loved one, bringing to life absolutely all his fantasies - even those that were banned during their life together. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to return a man in this way. He can visit you for bed pleasures, knowing that you will not refuse him, but we are not talking about love and mutual respect here. No matter how rude it may sound, in such situations, guys simply use girls for ordinary sexual release. Why strain and look for a suitable partner for sex if you are always at hand - obedient and reliable?

Don't shower him with gifts

If you are to blame for the breakup, then your desire to apologize is understandable. But if, in an effort to atone for your guilt, you begin to shower him with flowers and gifts, then his attitude towards you will only worsen. Signs of attention in the form of gifts from a girl are good only when she is confident in the love and devotion of her partner. As you know, you can’t buy love; all your offerings can be perceived as simple lack of self-confidence. The guy may decide that you don't think you're valuable enough for him without all these gifts, that you want to appease him and bribe him. In any case, giving excessive gifts to a man who wants to break up is not the best way to improve a relationship.

Don't arrange meetings

As soon as you start watching him before leaving work and “accidentally” catching his eye ten times a day, he will immediately want to turn invisible and lose you from sight forever. Obsessive girls who constantly arrange meetings have never made men want to win their love. Guys are created by nature in such a way that they simply need to achieve and conquer women, overcoming all obstacles in their path. And if you make it clear that you are ready to run after him day and night, then you will deserve nothing but irritation and disrespect for yourself with such behavior. Of course, in order to get a guy back, you just need to see him occasionally, but you need to do this wisely. Otherwise, he will decide that you are not worthy of his attention.

Don't attack him with text messages and social media messages.

Even if you lost your head with despair after a guy dumped you, you shouldn’t attack him with declarations of love and requests for a meeting every five minutes. Perhaps words of love are not at all what a man expects from you in such a situation. People don’t break up just like that, and if he left, there’s a good reason for it. For example, you could push him away precisely with your obsession, demanding tender confessions a hundred times a day. Men do not understand our thirst to constantly hear these words; they believe that love is not words, but actions. And, by the way, they are right in many respects. And your constant sticky messages about crazy love after he put an end to your relationship will be perceived as annoying and self-deprecating.

Don't despair

It's always difficult to get over a breakup with a loved one. It seems that the whole world has collapsed and there is no point in living further. Every day you look at photos together, listen to his favorite music, go to bed with the toy he gave you. And every day - tears, resentment, pain. If you are trapped in your own despair, then you need to get out of it as quickly as possible. Parting is not the end of the world, especially since you can make efforts to get your loved one back.

The longer your depression lasts, the more pathetic you look in your boyfriend's eyes. Men value strong and self-sufficient women; your prolonged mourning over a breakup will cause nothing but pity. In order to quickly calm down and come to your senses, stop surrounding yourself with objects that remind you of your lover. If you don’t throw them away, then at least you can put them away out of sight. Otherwise, you will suffer and cry every time things remind you of your love. No one is stopping you from crying for a couple of days, but do it in such a way that the guy has no idea about the storm raging in your soul. Otherwise it will be more difficult to return it.

How to get a guy back: a step-by-step guide

Your boyfriend may have a dozen reasons why he doesn't want to continue the relationship, but if you love him, then you can overcome all obstacles and get him back. If you are sure that your beloved man is exactly the person with whom you want to go through life, and that parting is really a mistake, then immediately pull yourself together and start acting.

Causes and Effects

Surely your boyfriend expressed all his complaints to you before leaving. Even if most of them seem unfair to you, then seriously think about the reasons mentioned. Perhaps you yourself are to blame for allowing the relationship to break down? What if you paid little attention to his needs and interests? Or maybe you constantly drove him crazy with your baseless jealousy? Discard the usual thoughts that you are not to blame for anything and that it was the guy’s behavior that was always the cause of your quarrels. There are always two sides involved in any conflict, and it is far from a fact that only one of them is to blame for everything.

Having realized what your mistakes were, start working on yourself. If you are really guilty before a man, then it would be useful to apologize. If the bad aspects of your character are to blame, then try to correct them. Even if you fail to get the guy back and you start dating another young man, similar problems may arise in a new relationship. Therefore, urgently change what repels the opposite sex in yourself.

Take care of yourself

Left alone, you can find time to take care of your appearance. Get a new hairstyle, learn a couple of new makeup techniques, buy some stylish, fashionable items for your wardrobe. Even if you don’t want to change radically, then make sure everyone notices that you “glow” from within - that will be enough. Let your boyfriend see that you are not dying without him, but are getting prettier right before his eyes. This will definitely make him think about such a metamorphosis, and will allow him, if not to return, then to become interested in you again - that’s for sure. In addition, changes in appearance will help you personally overcome your internal crisis and increase your self-esteem. It is much easier to begin “military operations” to return your loved one when compliments are pouring in on you from all sides, rather than sympathetic, pitying glances.

Friendly relations

Once you've recovered a little from the breakup, try to establish a friendly relationship with the guy. Don't show that you are doing this to get him back, just keep communicating. If a man feels that you are trying to put pressure on him and manipulate his behavior, he will immediately distance himself from you even more. Undoubtedly, it is very difficult to be content with an ordinary friendship with a person whom you still love very much. But the best way to approach him after a breakup is an easy, friendly relationship.

Under no circumstances should you cast pitying glances at him or try to evoke sympathy from him. When asked about how you live without him, answer: they say, at first it was hard, but now everything is fine and you even see the advantages in your separation. It is not at all necessary to specify exactly what the advantages are - just smile mysteriously. This will intrigue him and allow him to take a fresh look at the reason for the breakup of your relationship. Perhaps he will realize that he himself was not an angel, and will hasten to bring you back?

Meeting in a large company

It will be just wonderful if you can get to a party, picnic or walk where he will be present. It is very important that there is a large group of mutual acquaintances and that your presence does not arouse suspicion. If he decides that you are pursuing him, then he may have ambivalent feelings: on the one hand, he will be flattered by your desire to return him, on the other hand, it will cause slight irritation. Neither one nor the other will help you get closer to your goal. Try to look your best, act easy and relaxed. Be that beautiful girl that your man once fell in love with, and let his heart skip a beat.

Surely after you broke up, the guy expected negative reactions from you - tears, hysterics, requests to return. But if you did everything right and behaved with dignity, then you have every chance of regaining the favor of your loved one. Noticing that you are surrounded by attention, including male attention, that you are as interesting, beautiful and sexy as at the beginning of your relationship, he, of course, cannot resist and wants to return you. Your basic rule should be to not be too pushy by flirting with him recklessly. Light half-hints and promising smiles are enough. Let him be sure that you did not try to win him back, that he himself made the decision to resume the relationship.

And if he invites you on a date, then try to create a romantic atmosphere that will help you both remember your past feelings. Under no circumstances remember his past sins, live only in the present. And having achieved your cherished goal, try to avoid old mistakes that led you to a difficult separation.

Getting a guy back after a breakup is quite difficult, but possible. Try to avoid the main mistakes girls make that push men away. Humiliation, blackmail, intrusiveness and attempts to evoke a feeling of pity are precisely those things that will not help you resurrect your relationship. Even if, thanks to such attempts, the guy returns, it is unlikely that you will live happily ever after with him. Self-esteem, willpower and a smile on his lips - this is what will help a guy admit that his departure was a mistake and make him come back to you. In general, it is better to avoid a breakup in principle and work on the relationship constantly, day after day. Then you won’t have to rack your brains about how to get your guy back after a breakup. Instead, you will be happy that you were able to save and maintain your happiness.

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How to get a guy back after a breakup: 3 reasons to do it and 3 not to do it + 5 important steps + 7 main mistakes.

Not everyone likes drama in relationships (stormy quarrels, breakups, reconciliations). And many people know that such passions rarely lead to building a strong family.

Love should bring joy and pleasure, and not serve as a constant source of stress. And, if the relationship did not work out, eventually leading to separation, then it is better to let go of your ex-other half and focus on finding new love.

Unfortunately, in real life, things don't always go according to plan.

Many girls think how to get a guy back after breaking up for various reasons: great love, guilt, fear of loneliness.

This task is not easy and before you begin, think about whether you are ready to make some sacrifices and trample on your pride. And also think about whether the skin is worth the price, because no one guarantees you a positive result.

When is it worth getting a guy back after a breakup and when not to do it?

You don't always have to try to get a guy back. Yes, there are times when this is truly appropriate, but sometimes it is better to accept your fate and put all your energy into building new relationships.

1) When should you really try to get a guy back?

It cannot be so unequivocally stated that a girl does not have the right to try to return the guy she broke up with. There are cases when taking initiative is a very smart and useful step.

Reasons for breaking up where there is no shame in trying to get your boyfriend back:

Misunderstanding.

Anything can happen in a relationship, especially if both the guy and the girl have difficult characters.

If a banal misunderstanding arose between you (for example, it seemed to him that you were cheating on him, but there was no trace of this), then it is clear that you need to look for the key to reconciliation.

You and your behavior.

And I told you about this more than once. But he also repeatedly pointed out character traits or behavioral traits that he doesn’t like about you. He asked to change. You didn’t react and he left you.

If you are finally ready to change and can demonstrate these changes to your guy, then getting him back will not be difficult.

Your initiative.

It was you who decided to end your relationship, and then, after thinking about it, you realized that you were mistaken and want to get the guy back. This will be easy to achieve if the young man is not too proud and still loves you very much.

2) When the breakup is a settled issue and it’s not possible to get the guy back...

I am a little old-fashioned when it comes to relationships and am convinced that a girl should not run after a guy if he initiated the breakup and directly said: “I don’t need you.” Attempts to restore the relationship should be made only when mutual love has been preserved.

Forget about a guy after a breakup and don't try to get him back if he:

He left you for another girl.

If a young man left you to enter into a relationship with another girl, and you see that he is happy with her, trying to get him back in most cases will be pointless.

Now, if they break up, then it’s another matter - you can try.

Bad person.

Love is love, but it is useful to look at the object of your desire without rose-colored glasses.

If the young man you are trying to get back constantly humiliated you, offended you, if he has problems with the law, alcohol or drugs, then look at your separation as a deliverance, not a tragedy.

He refused you more than once.

Have you tried to get your boyfriend back once, twice, three times, but have always been refused?

Humble yourself and stop exposing yourself to ridicule. This relationship is over!

How to get a guy back after a breakup: steps to take

It's almost impossible to get a guy back if he doesn't want it. You only have a chance if he regrets losing you and is waiting for a signal: you are ready to take him back.

Here are 5 steps to take if you want to get your boyfriend back:

Analyze the reasons for the separation.

Your relationship failed for a reason, there was a specific reason (or several reasons).

If you understand what exactly was the cataclysm for the separation and eliminate it, it will be much easier to return the guy’s love.

Take care of your appearance.

Even if you are a beautiful, well-groomed young lady, there is always room for improvement. If you are still not attending any training sessions, then correct this immediately.

Sign up for a facial, relaxing massage, manicure, pedicure at the spa. After such pleasant procedures, you will immediately feel better.

Change of image (for example, haircut and coloring). Well, shopping to buy a pair of beautiful dresses and new shoes is the best cure for boredom.

Remain completely calm during meetings.

If you study or work together, or for some other reason are forced to constantly cross paths, do not show your excitement, embarrassment and pain. And of course, there is no need to give him the look of a beaten dog.

Behave calmly, reservedly, affably, a little indifferently. And also confuse the guy with a radiant smile. This will make the boy wonder whether he acted wisely by breaking up with you.

Build friendly relations with your ex-lover.

Those girls are stupid who, when breaking up with a young man, cut off all ties with him. You can be friends with your ex.

And you need to be friends with the ex you want back. It is much easier to turn from a friend into a loved one than from an enemy.

Make him jealous.

The trick is simple and not particularly novel, but effective. If a young man still has feelings for you, he will definitely be jealous of you and will want to come back.

If you remain indifferent, well, well - but you will know for sure that it is impossible to restore the relationship. Yes, and take a closer look at the young man with whose help they tried to make their ex jealous. Maybe he's not so bad after all?

How to get a guy back: the main mistakes girls make after breaking up

There are often cases when girls had every chance to return a guy, but due to their own stupidity and making unforgivable mistakes, they were left with nothing and only deepened the separation.

If you want to get your boyfriend back after a breakup, under no circumstances should you:

Humiliate yourself.

All this crawling on your knees, begging, crying looks simply disgusting.

Do you value this relationship so much that you are ready to expose yourself to everyone’s ridicule and allow them to wipe their feet on you? Ugh, what kind of indecent inclinations towards emotional sadomasochism?

Understand that sooner or later any lie will be declassified, so if you are going to get your loved one back by fantasizing about your pregnancy, or making up some other ridiculous stories, then you shouldn’t even start.

This won't end well!

Threaten.

Moreover, it doesn’t matter at all what exactly you threaten him with (kill yourself, tear out all the patties of his new shmara, tell everyone that he is only 7 centimeters) there will be no sense in this.

The guy will not only not return to you, but will also feel disgusted by such an abnormal girl.

Promise something you can't deliver.

Now it seems to you that you are ready to do absolutely anything just to return love. As soon as the ecstasy passes, you will ardently regret your words.

If you are disgusted by a threesome, an open relationship, his friends who are drunks, etc., then you don’t need to promise to love all this when he returns...

You won’t be able to do it anyway, you’ll only lose a lot of nerves and time.

To impose.

There are such stuffy sticky girls that are almost impossible to get rid of. They will lie in wait for you, pester you with texts and letters, set up “random” meetings, and offer themselves in every way.

It is almost impossible to reach them with explanations about the futility of such attempts, which is why the guys go to extreme measures, for example, humiliating them in public.

Do you want to experience this “pleasure”? Then keep pushing.

Scandal.

All these showdowns in the style of market women are neither needed nor interesting to anyone, not even you (you will understand this if you take a sober look at the situation).

Well, stop making a scandal in public and blaming the guy for... Save at least the young man's respect, if not love.

Do stupid things.

We, being emotional creatures, often do things that we later regret. Don't do anything until you get your emotions under control.

It’s one thing to throw away his gifts and burn shared photos after a breakup (stupid and unpleasant, but you can survive), and quite another thing to eat handfuls of pills because you see, you feel bad.

on how to get your ex-boyfriend back:

Should I get my boyfriend back after a breakup or should I let him go?

Despite all the advice that you have heard from me, I want to ask you again: weigh the pros and cons before you try to get your boyfriend back. Sometimes you just need to step on the throat of your feelings and let the situation go.

At the institute I was friends with Oksana. For a year she dated a boy from our department, but he was 2 years older. They had some kind of strange relationship: she was madly in love, and he did not stop her from doing it.

And then the day came that was supposed to come: Yura left Oksana, left him for another girl. A classmate was grieving, we tried to console her. After crying for 3 days, the girl decided to return Yura. Her friends, including me, tried to dissuade her as best they could, realizing that this was a lost cause and all that Oksana would achieve was to expose herself to ridicule.

The persecution continued for 2 months. There was everything: declarations of love, surprises, gifts, requests, and attempts to arouse jealousy.

It is worth saying that in this story Yura showed sensitivity and tact unusual for him - he delicately persuaded Oksana to leave him alone, claimed that he was happy in his new relationship, that everything ended a long time ago between them, etc.

My friend didn’t listen to his or our words or to the voice of reason. This story ended sadly for Oksana. She once again tried to invite her ex-lover somewhere to restore love, but chose the wrong moment.

Yuri was upset and angry about something, so he yelled at the entire university corridor: “Finally, leave me alone!!! I told you 100 times that I don’t need you, that I have someone else, that I won’t come back to you!!! Get off, you idiot, and don’t come near me again!!!”

Of course, the guy is wrong for deciding to speak out in such an aggressive manner. But the blame for such a shame lies entirely with Oksana: she played too hard in her attempts to return Yuri. She didn’t even try to understand: nothing would work out and this relationship was really over.

If you think how to get your boyfriend back after a breakup, carefully read Oksana’s story again so as not to find yourself in the same situation.

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How to get your ex-boyfriend back - a simple psychological trick

If you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, then the chances of success increase significantly if you are somewhat familiar with human psychology. The technique we will talk about is extremely effective and should be used with caution. It is based on human psychological mechanisms that have been imprinted on us since prehistoric times, and most people unconsciously guide their lives by them.

This technique is based on the following psychological principle:

People want what they can't have

There are reasons why people want what they cannot have. After all, if prehistoric people had been happy with their hunting of animals with sticks, and sleeping under trees and in caves, then the world that we have today simply would not have arisen. We have something, but we always want more - which makes this technique powerful and very effective. How does it work?

If you think about the situation carefully, one of the main reasons why your ex rejects you is because he knows that you want him more than he wants you. If this were not the case, it would be a mutual breakup, and you would have no desire to return him.

The trick is to make your ex think that you don't want him anymore, that you're glad it's over, that you've moved on, and that you're pursuing your interests.

This works on several levels:

1. Your ex won’t understand why suddenly you don’t want him anymore (what has changed?)

2. He will be interested to know how you could get over the breakup so quickly (especially if he himself is still struggling with its consequences)

3. He wants to know if you are seeing someone else, who exactly, and if you are happy.

4. He will have an instinctive desire to pursue you, because he no longer has you, and cannot have you.

5. He will be hurt by the fact that the situation has completely changed, and you are happy, but he is not.

Perhaps in your heart you will resist this tactic, because you passionately want to get him back. Your thoughts are aimed at pursuing him and proving to him that you continue to love him and care about him. However, if you look at it from a strategic point of view, you will understand why you should do things differently.

Therefore, stock up on endurance and patience, and try to strictly follow the new line of behavior. And then after a while the result will not disappoint you. The method is simple, but sometimes simple things are not so easy to do.

Here's what awaits you:

Step 1: Write a letter to your ex (you can also use email, but a regular letter will be better)

Step 2: In the letter you write that you have finally accepted the breakup and you have decided to move on, regaining your joy in life and allowing yourself to do exciting things. Make it clear that you are happy, but not overly happy. The key is that the letter should be very short (less than 100 words, if possible), and stop at the most interesting point.

If you watch television series, then you know that each episode usually ends at the most interesting point. That is why you are looking forward to the next episode. The same principle should be used here.

This is the very emotion that you want to evoke at the end of the letter.

“I'm excited about this coming Saturday with my new friends. However... never mind... Call me, if you want".

It's not so exaggerated that it doesn't look too believable, but it does create some emotion since you're hinting that you're going to meet someone new, and your ex will be wondering what kind of people they are. Maybe just a friend, but what if it's a new guy you're dating? This is exactly what you want him to think.

The “Call me” line at the end is really very important because you have to tell him that you want him to do this. Otherwise, he will not do anything. Don't waste your chance by skipping this! At the same time, you don't want to appear desperate or too weak, so don't overdo it.

That's all.

Send a letter and wait for a response. If he doesn't call, send a "random" SMS message, "See you tomorrow!" And immediately hang up.

After you send the letter, cut off all contact with him. The mere fact of no contact will make your ex think anything. Thus, you completely change the situation, and from the pursuer become the pursued, driving your ex-boyfriend to madness.

This is just the beginning, but don't stop there. Maintain the “pursuit” impulse until he asks you to return the relationship.
I highly recommend reading the next book. Lots of positive reviews.

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