Long beautiful notes for classmates. Cool statuses for Odnoklassniki: meaningful, funny

This page contains a selection of the best statuses for the Odnoklassniki website for all occasions for men and women: cool statuses, funny, with meaning about life, about love, wise statuses, sad statuses.

  • Cool statuses for Odnoklassniki, funny statuses;
  • Beautiful statuses for Odnoklassniki with meaning about life;
  • Statuses for Odnoklassniki about love;
  • Statuses for Odnoklassniki: wise thoughts;
  • Sad statuses for Odnoklassniki.

Funny statuses for Odnoklassniki: funny statuses

Undressing a sleeping child is like defusing a bomb; one sudden movement means minus 4 hours of sleep.
The sun is shining but not warming, vacation is warming but not shining...
To all the girls who are waiting for a prince on a white horse, I inform you that the horse is dead! I'm walking, so I'm delayed...
Don’t make me angry - there’s already nowhere to hide the corpses. I'm kidding, I'm kidding - in fact, there are plenty of places...
I got up at 4 o'clock in the morning, broke my fishing rod, flushed worms down the toilet, cut up my rubber boots and boat, and then went to bed and gently pressed myself against my husband's back. I had no more than an hour to live
At heart I am a very kind and sensitive person... But as soon as I get out of the shower, I’m such a bastard!
-Darling, do we have anything to eat? -Eat everything you find in the refrigerator. -Oh, my hostess! Did you prepare the ice yourself?
Dad, dad, who is that there, in the corner - shaggy, with red eyes, sitting all night??? - Don’t be afraid, daughter, this is our mother in Odnoklassniki...
At least they talk about women's logic! Nothing is known about men at all!
In order to identify the leader in an unfamiliar team, pay attention to whose desktop there is an air conditioner remote control.
You become an adult not when you stop listening to your mother, but when you realize that your mother was right!
Love is a struggle of the sexes: both opponents know well what they want, and all means seem legal to them.
· One, looking into a puddle, sees dirt in it, and the other sees stars reflected in it.
Today I have a musical attitude towards life... I don’t care about everything!
I live for those who need me... I am friends only with those in whom I am confident. I communicate with those who are pleasant... And grateful to those who appreciate!!!
Never doubt your attractiveness! Remember: scales lie, people envy, and the mirror is generally crooked!
A woman is like salt; it is not sweet with her, but without her it is not tasty.
Everywhere is good, where we are not, but we will definitely be there and ruin everything...
Who is more valuable than anyone in the world! Well, of course our children! bunnies, suns, flowers! our daughters and sons!
Give me pills for greed: more, more...
Female meanness is noticing that a friend has lost weight and not telling her about it
5 years - mom knows everything; 10 years - mom knows something; 15 years old - mom, what does she know? 20 years old - you should have listened to your mother!

Beautiful statuses for Odnoklassniki about life with meaning

Those who supported me when I fell, now hold on, we are taking off!
Life is not about the days that have passed, but about those that are remembered.
Life is like a game of poker: you always have to be prepared for someone else's bluff and have an ace up your sleeve.
Life is a fairy tale that everyone writes for themselves.
Life is like a piano: the key is black, the key is white, the lid...
If we can master one day at a time, we have the key to life itself...
The best way to keep your promise is to not make it.
Life is like mathematics, until you calculate everything you won’t get the result.
The best road is the one that leads home.
Life is too short to imitate anyone, better be yourself.
Look forward with hope, backward with gratitude, upward with faith, and around with love.
· A new life begins with the disposal of previous mistakes.
If you sow an action, you will reap a habit; if you sow a habit, you will reap a character; if you sow a character, you will reap a destiny.
Time has only one problem - sooner or later it runs out.
There are no cowardly men. Either a man or a coward.
· The desire to start a new life does not come from a good life.
Weak people believe in luck, strong people believe in cause and effect.
· Life is a cross-country race in which everyone strives to get ahead in order to reach the finish line last.
Getting up at 7 am for work is torture, pain and tears. Getting up at 5 am to travel abroad is easy!
· There is nothing complicated in life. We are the ones who are complex. Life is a simple thing, and the simpler it is, the more correct it is.
Life is like hot tea. Burning, but ok with sweets!
· Life is a wonderful adventure, worthy of enduring failures for the sake of success.
Life is always fair, it just tests your strength sometimes...
· You need to live in such a way that your presence is necessary, and your absence is noticeable...
If no one criticizes you, it means you have not yet achieved success.
The life given to us is short by nature, but the memory of a life well lived remains forever...
Everyone must pay for their own stupidity, otherwise they will never grow wiser.
· We are all mired in the swamp, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
The best teacher in life is experience. True, he charges a lot, but he explains it clearly.
· Life is the art of extracting significant benefits from minor circumstances. Samuel Butler
When they really wait for us, we return even from the other world.
The main thing is to believe in yourself. The opinions of others change daily.
Don't try to fix the past. Better make every effort not to ruin the future.
With the onset of a crisis, losers and lazy people finally have an explanation for why everything is bad for them and who is to blame for it.
The more difficult the chosen path, the fewer fellow travelers.
I try to avoid problems, but they seem to like me.
Life is short! Break the rules! Goodbye quickly! Kiss slowly! Love sincerely! Laugh uncontrollably!
Live now, not just one day! There is only one life and it is not given twice!
Our whole life is a game! Play nice!

Statuses for Odnoklassniki about love

Inexperienced love says: “I love you because I need you,” experienced love: “I need you because I love you.”
· Love is a game of cards in which both bluff: one to win, the other so as not to lose.
Love is a disease that has new symptoms every time.
· Love is the only axiom that requires constant proof.
Life is like a piano. White keys represent love and happiness, black keys represent grief and sadness. To hear the real music of life, we must touch both.
· Love was invented in order to equalize the smart with the fools.
Love is the only thing you can give and still have it.
· Love does not tolerate those who have pointedly turned their backs on it for too long. Love loves the decisive and courageous, who do not make mistakes precisely because they are not afraid to make them.
One-sided love is suffering cured by another love.
· Love is a game. Whoever said “I love you” first lost...
It is not difficult to kill love in yourself, it is difficult to kill memories.
· If my boyfriend leaves for someone else, I don’t regret him. Since childhood, my mother taught me to give away old toys to those less fortunate!
Love is like a cat. She scratches us until we bleed, even if we only wanted to play with her.
Everyone can love. But not everyone can be loved. If you want to become one, love the one who loves you.
I love you not for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.
Appreciate those people who sincerely talk about their feelings, because they are the bravest, most faithful and reliable.
A girl in love would rather forgive a major indiscretion than a small infidelity.
Separation has one big advantage, because only after parting with a person do you feel who he really is to you and how much you need him.
And even though his name is the same as half of the globe... for me it still sounds special...
The one who values ​​the relationship more is always the first to ask for forgiveness, not the one who is actually to blame.
A million words, a million phrases, A million sweet and loving eyes. A million roses, a million orchids, a million snow-white swans... But I have one, only YOU, And I don’t need any flowers...
Love is the only thing that makes a Man stronger, a Woman more beautiful, a Man kinder, a Soul lighter, and life more beautiful! I wish you love!
The heart can withstand the pain of separation, distance and time... but it can break from one careless word.
Look into your child's eyes. What you see is called love, and what you feel at this moment is called happiness!
You have to be able to close a boring book, leave a bad movie and part with people who don’t value you...
If you have love, then you don't need anything else. If you don't have love, it doesn't matter what else you have.
It’s a shame, it’s difficult, it hurts, but I’ve had enough, enough is enough!! I don’t know what will happen next, but I’m letting you go...
Love is the best cosmetics; it amazingly adorns the face of a woman in love.
When you leave, leave me in the rain so that I don’t cry alone...
Love is when you are not compared to anyone, because they know that there is no one better than you.
If you love me, then I will move mountains! if you don’t love, then the neck.
Love is not where it’s good with someone, love is when we feel bad without someone!
For every Shrek there is a Feona who will be purple that he is green!
Love doesn't pass by. She's biding her time.
Love is a temporary state and often ends in marriage.
Love is when sometimes you try on HIS surname and think whether it SOUNDS or not...

Statuses for Odnoklassniki: wise thoughts with meaning

You will never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Obstacles seem too big to us because we are on our knees in front of them. Honoré Mirabeau
Only we ourselves can create heaven on Earth.
The greatest pleasure is to do what others think you cannot do. (Walter Badgett)
If you want to rejoice for a moment, take revenge; if you want to rejoice all your life, forgive. (Franz Peter Schubert)
One of the laws of life says that as soon as one door closes, another opens.
Don’t even think about why the person did this or that to you. It is enough to understand one simple truth: the offended try to offend, the happy try to make happy. That's all.
You must have a dream so that you can get up in the morning.
If he wants you in his life, he will achieve it. You don't have to fight for the right to be with him.
Do you know what is the worst thing in life? Give up. This is the easiest thing.
Love and be loved - this is the greatest happiness.
If your ex-men want to be with you again: it means you were better than those who came before you and much better than those who came after.

Sad statuses for Odnoklassniki

Sorry dear, but I'm tired. Forgive me, but I'll go. I've been looking for the key for too long, but I can't see the right thing in my heart.
The melancholy is not from the lack of men, but from the absence of one loved one.
There is no point in happiness if there is no one to share it with...
Another day in which there was everything except you.
I have heard a lot in life - promises, oaths, but the best thing I have heard is silence. There are no lies in it.
Happy even in his melancholy is the one to whom God has given a soul worthy of love and misfortune. Victor Hugo
There are times when the best lighting for your further path is a flaming bridge behind you!
Sadness before a long journey is quite natural, even when a person knows that happiness awaits him at the end of this road. M. Bulgakov “The Master and Margarita”
Some people have something to remember, while others have only what they want to forget.
Just as a tree quietly drops its leaves, so I drop sad words. Sergei Alexandrovich Yesenin
The resentment will go away, the trust will not return.
The price for individuality is loneliness.
People who hurt us don’t want to do us harm, they want to do themselves good!
The more people around you, the more acutely you feel your loneliness.
· Sometimes you just want to cry, cry for no reason, realizing that you have lost a lot of things... but everything could have been different.
– I’m covered in scars that hurt and ache... – Something is not noticeable... – My soul is covered with them...
· And it doesn’t seem sad... And it doesn’t even hurt... But it’s wildly empty... And the tears involuntarily...
I want a heart of stone so that I don’t feel any resentment, pain, or disappointment.
· Sadness in the soul cannot be covered with dark glasses.
It is not autumn that is to blame for our sadness, but only the absence of spring in our souls...
This is how you all live: without meaning, without purpose and without brains.
Stabs in the back are most often inflicted by those whom you protect with your chest.
We often say that everything is fine, but at night we suffocate from pain.
And I closed the gates to my soul. Some people simply cannot understand me... They often tell me that I am beautiful... I would like to exchange beauty for happiness...
Now someone is born, dies, laughs, enjoys life, catches snow with their palms, falls in love, lives, gets sick, loves, cries, and I just listen to music, while crying for you.
Losing someone you loved is scary, but it’s even worse to never meet him.
I sit and move a brush over a sheet of paper - I draw love... But for some reason I use dark colors...
I like rain. You can hide your tears in it...
I don’t need much - I just want you to be next to me... Here and now.

I hope the article “The coolest new statuses for your Odnoklassniki page for free” was useful to you.

Still, some people surprise me. It seems to be much more stupid, but they somehow manage... 11

Girl, what is your username and password? I can not enter... 24

I'm like a button. I'm having fun all the time! 11

If my computer could dream, it would only dream about one thing. About vacation... 8

I am nettle. Because it's BURNING! 11

I do not care! The future depends on me! 10

All day long I dream about you, and this is not a lie... Hurry to you, hurry to you... my beloved sofa! 17

The most arrogant creatures in the world are men! Where they came from is where they climb. 13

Nothing works in my life except the sofa! 17

It doesn't matter what they say behind your back. The main thing is that when you turn around, everyone is silent. 27

Sometimes I want to become a child... Because now I understand that broken knees heal faster than a broken heart. 20

Our meeting is not good, said the neck to the axe. 15

Love is when a girl puts the name of her loved one as all her passwords. Great love - when all the passwords are different. 9

Do you know what the place where the watchman sits is called in a cemetery? Pets' corner. 10

If the world were a good place, we wouldn't cry at birth. 13

Parents' house - All Inclusive. 9

Smile at a stranger - let him dream! 11

Everything is NAH, for NAH, although, POH. 15

The worst drug is the ass. Absolutely everyone is on it. 11

Dreams come true... At a certain moment... Most often this moment is called “No need for anything anymore” 12

Beautiful women will drive us all crazy... (one of the best statuses for guys) 11

If you undress a girl and see her wearing a bra and panties of the same color, then this is definitely her initiative. 8

The most popular plan for solving problems - oh, we'll sort it out. 8

ɐwʎ ɔ vǝmоɔ dиw ɐʚonɔ 11

The art of fucking your own brain is called conscience. 11

The inscription on the bag of seeds says they shorten your life by one hour. 9

I don’t know where childhood goes, but I know exactly where it plays... 4

If you look at the negatives in life through a raised middle finger, they become positives. 8

Few people know that tall people have cleaner air, a more beautiful view, and the “connection” always catches! 14

A girl (boy) and a dog have disappeared, there is a reward for the dog! 10

I didn’t care (wanted) about the black and white stripes of life. I'm following my... purple path! 11

Become a boomerang. They throw you, and you throw them back in the face! 9

I'm not lazy. I save energy (hit status for ICQ) 9

The law of meanness: the worse the situation, the less charge your phone has... 14

The phrase after which the oblivion spell begins to work: “The main thing is not to forget!” 15

Sexuality is something that cannot be hidden, and not something that they try hard to show. 9

Taking a sober look at some things, you understand that you need to drink... 7

The body is the temple of the soul only in youth. In old age it is more like a pre-trial detention center. 13

The New Year has brought many new statuses. Some of them are “well-forgotten old things” that have been “shaken off the dust” and put into action again, some are a new trend of thought, something that will surprise and puzzle you. Odnoklassniki is an arena for statements where you can become a trendsetter. You just need to be original and bold.
Shakespeare said that “all the world is a stage.” Who are you in this theater:

  • viewer;
  • actor, or maybe:
  • director?

It doesn't matter at all in which direction your thought goes. Status is what characterizes you at the moment. By looking through your old statements, your friends will be able to understand whether you are developing or deteriorating. It wouldn’t hurt for you to go back and read what you already wrote and thought once.

Statuses for classmates with meaning

Interesting statements are those that are endowed with meaning. No one will read your thought forms if they have no beginning or end, if they are just a bunch of words that do not carry any idea.
Today it is not necessary to sit and compose statements. It's great when you can express everything yourself. But remember, even the most brilliant people are interested in what others write. And, if they especially liked the idea, they pass it on to their acquaintances and friends.
You can find great sayings with deep meaning in our collection. The original thoughts we offer will make you original and witty.

Cool statuses for Odnoklassniki

Funny sayings have always been especially popular. We have a great variety of them in our arsenal. We, like everyone else, love to laugh and are sure that laughter actually prolongs life. Let's extend each other's lives.
You can also find sad statuses with us. Everyone is sad. Many people even like to think a little about sad things, feel sorry for themselves, or be sympathetic to someone else.
You will find statements of any nature here. With our thought forms you will become a talented actor on the stage of life. Read and learn, perhaps, thanks to our statuses, very soon you will become a director.

“I looked into those eyes again and whispered: “You are the most precious thing in my life.” He smiled. And he walked away from the mirror.”

Recently I was digging in the garden, I found a metal ruble and put it in my pocket. I dig further, another ruble and another, I dug up 10 rubles. Well, I think it's probably a treasure. It turned out that the pocket had holes.

I am from that generation that pushed a person into the water without thinking that he might have a cell phone in his pocket.

For some reason, it always seems to me that the boss looks at me and thinks: “This device can certainly work much faster.”

I am strictly on a diet: in the morning - yogurt, at lunch - tea with lemon, for dinner - a light salad of meat, sausage, sour cream, dumplings, chicken, buns and fish...

The psychologist asks the patient:
- Tell me, are there any cases of megalomania in your family?
- Sometimes my husband declares that he is the head of the family.

Real courage is to climb into the refrigerator after 6 pm for kefir and take kefir!

In the male body, the heart is not the only organ that cannot be ordered.

I know several people who absolutely know how to make millions, but, unfortunately, they all distribute cosmetics.

A real man goes to the doctor only when a piece of a spear in his back begins to interfere with sleep.

Are they talking about you behind your back? Rejoice, you now have free PR managers.

The bride's friend caught such a BOUQUET at the wedding that she could not get married for a very long time.

It's too early for me to have children. I'm not mentally ready to buy a kinder surprise and give it to someone.

He looked after her for a whole week: he threw songs on the wall, gave her likes...

I don’t know who is writing the script of my life, but he has a sense of humor...

A person is 80% water... The remaining percentage prevents him from drowning!

The climate in Russia is intended, first of all, to destroy the enemy.

Fortune teller to client:
- You have a bright future... A high position... A red car... You quickly climb the stairs...
- I know everything. I'm a fireman.

Some people think I'm crazy. And many have already realized that it doesn’t seem like it to them.

A good half of Russians look unkind on Monday morning...

Having a sense of humor makes it easier to cope with the lack of everything else.

If we are not on the Internet, then everyone thinks that we are not at home!

Still, some people surprise me. It seems to be much more stupid, but they somehow manage...

I generally love people. What a pity that since 1861 they cannot be given as gifts.

If my computer could dream, it would only dream about one thing. About vacation...

I'm as drunk as a sober glass, I can't even speak my braids!

The older the archaeologist's wife gets, the more he likes her.

The most arrogant creatures in the world are men! Where they came from is where they climb.

The secret to longevity is simple. But a secret is a secret.

If you pour condensed milk on the roof in the fall, then in winter it will be much more pleasant to suck on icicles...

300 girls suffered at Dima Bilan’s concert - they suffered and calmed down.

The world is losing its geniuses: Einstein died, Beethoven went deaf, Pushkin was shot... now I have a headache...

The mother-in-law swallowed ten kopecks. It’s a small thing, but it’s nice!

When you leave Odnoklassniki, the inscription appears: “How are you leaving already? So quickly?” And it’s so polite... touching... you just want to answer: “No, what are you talking about! Now I’ll crawl to the bed and use my mobile phone!”

As one ideal woman said... She didn’t say anything. She was mute.

Odnoklassniki website: meet your high school sweetheart after 10 years! Screw up two families!

Olya did her homework, washed the dishes, walked the dog, put away the toys in her room, but her mother still noticed that she was pregnant.

The girl was waiting for a guy from the army for one year - not Hachiko, of course, but also a good guy...

Girls! Remember that PENGUINS are swallows that ate after 18-00!

Today I was running behind a minibus, tripped and fell into a puddle. A man walked nearby and asked: “Do you think swimming will be faster?”

They are 10, and they already have a VKontakte page, a personal laptop, an iPhone. When I was 10, I had Pokemon chips and "Love is..." bubblegum stickers.

In the morning, answering a phone call in a voice as if you were already up is a great art.

Autocorrect constantly corrects my curse words! Here's a female dog!

The myth that women only need money was invented by men who have no money.

If a woman starts crying, confuse her - start crying back.

Before you strive to find out the truth, think three times whether you can live with it.

During the two weeks I spent at the resort, I received only one SMS from my husband: “Where is the corkscrew?”

Phones are getting thinner and smarter, but people are doing the opposite.

Children are interested in the question of where everything comes from, adults are interested in where everything goes.

I look at some of them and understand that you still need to dress not according to fashion, but in the MIRROR, in the MIRROR!!!

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank, give a man a bank and he will rob the whole city.

The ideal woman is the one who... fed her, gave her something to drink, put her to bed... but didn't let her sleep.

If the husband is the head and the wife is the neck, then is it the neck’s fault that the head is looking to the left?

Girl, girl, buy me some ice cream!
- Alphonse or what?
- No, ice cream.

Remember! A mortgage is not a prison, there will be no amnesty!

Teamwork is very important. It allows you to shift the blame onto someone else.

The vacuum cleaner is a very strange object, I just took it out and the cat is nowhere to be found...

To save time sleeping in the morning, I have breakfast at night.

My wife and I decided to start all over again... So she didn’t even come on a date!!!

I don't understand two things. Why do you sleep so sweetly during the day? Why does food taste better at night?

Do you want to turn off your wife for half an hour? Ask what she will wear to work tomorrow.

You will meet in 25 years the one whom you considered a prince at 18... and you understand how lucky it is that he rode past on his horse.

The girl realized that it was time to lose weight after she was able to step on the scale with only one leg.

WARNING: Drinking too much alcohol can make you sound like you're whispering when you're yelling.

He had not had a woman for so long that he had already begun to glance at his wife...

Perhaps I shouldn’t have driven home from the bar yesterday. Moreover, I came there on foot.

Get out of the car - you haven't passed the exam!
- Wait, I didn’t even move...
- You won’t move from the back seat!

If a person is dear to me, I will never remain silent. I'd rather argue with him.

The girls are very kind. They can forgive a guy even if he is not guilty of anything.

I'm not looking for ideals - I just need a person to understand me and wash the dishes!

What are you doing this evening?
- I clean the fish.
- What kind of girl are you, though...

After all, there is a higher power, it was she who gave the Chinese chopsticks. If they had spoons, we would have nothing to eat.

A wife reprimands her mathematician husband:
- Yes, you don’t love me at all, you’re only interested in your mathematics!
- I love.
- Prove it!
- Fine. Let A be the set of objects I love...

Women's folk fun is to fall in love with an idiot and assure everyone that he is the one and only.

When you regularly eat pickled cucumbers... with aromatic new potatoes with garlic and herbs, the most important thing is not to fall asleep...

If a woman is constantly told that she likes her the way she is, then she will like to eat.

I'll have breakfast now. I'll gain strength. And when I start to want to sleep...

He grew up, wiser, sad.

It's only when a mosquito lands on your eggs that you realize that there is always a way to solve the problem without using force.

Spring. I want to go to the forest. Find a den and wake up the bear. And then run, run away from him, gasping with delight!

I think so, the only chance to lose weight with green tea is to climb the mountains to collect it yourself...

A woman gets younger before she's thirty... After thirty she gets damn prettier!

After a bottle of cognac, the conversation turns into an information leak.

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Years go by, times change. But something remains unchanged, despite the whole series of events and the history of people's lives. And this something is Humor! Yes, yes, it was humor that was famous in all centuries and millennia. From the times when jesters and buffoons were called to feasts and great celebrations to amuse the people, to our century, when the sphere of humor has become the most extensive and popular: from stand-ups to the major leagues of KVN, from ordinary vine OBs on YouTube to practical jokes and compilations. What unites all these areas and has a common basis? That's right - the energy of a joke! And cool statuses for classmates in this case are no exception. Social networks are a place where many people gather, with different interests and habits, and sometimes you just want to share your mood with someone, with someone who will understand how you feel at the moment and what state of mind you are in. Have you ever wondered why people are looking for new doses of adrenaline and trying to change their lives in order to feel like they are living again? Precisely because every person, over time, loses control and a sense of joy in life. Then he has to look for tools (means) that will make it possible to reverse everything and become happy and carefree again, as in childhood. And there are a great variety of such Tools, including cool statuses... This section contains cool statuses for every taste and color. To the right of this introduction you will see a menu, which is navigation through the “Cool Quotes for Classmates” section. To return to the main page, click on the site logo ok -status .ru. We wish you a pleasant stay. Sincerely. Resource administration.

At school I had an old physical education teacher, instead of “I understand,” he said “I understand,” and there was also a classmate with the last name Yasin who did not like the physical education teacher.

I constantly think about two things: that I need to grow up, become more serious, and about where bullfinches spend their summer.

Every evening I sit at home to meet my destiny.

Odnoklassniki is an interesting site. Stretch ceilings, wardrobes, curtains are constantly asking to be friends... They probably studied in a parallel class.

New social network “Grandmothers on a Bench”. The main buttons of the site: “Add to prostitutes” and “Add to drug addicts”...

Autumn is ending, winter will soon come, then the end of the world, then the New Year.

To statuses of girls like: “Stop pumping your biceps, normal guys have been pumping oil for a long time,” we reply: “Stop pumping your lips, normal girls have been pumping their crib and singing a lullaby for a long time!”

If I call you after two o’clock in the morning, don’t pick up the phone, it’s not me, and if it is me, then it’s no longer me.

Every day I go to the store and buy vodka. Tell me, doctor... am I a shopaholic?

When I tried to work again, the Internet was detected again.

Motorists know that there is no “comments” section on the AvtoVAZ website.

Yes, I didn’t care about the black or white stripes of life. I'm going my own way - purple!

Life is a compromise between the desire to sleep and the desire to eat.

I hope everyone understands that because of that asshole who came up with the idea of ​​abolishing winter time, the end of the world in Russia will come an hour earlier?

The worst thing is not that we are now adults, but that now we are adults.

I would like the feature “Your SMS message will be sent after you sober up and confirm sending” to be introduced on your mobile phone.

They say that in life you have to try everything. “Everything” - as a rule, alcohol, sex and filming in sex. Much less often - nuclear physics, chess and mountaineering.

You are looking for happiness, but you are gaining experience. Sometimes you think - this is happiness! Ah, figurines, experience again.

As a rule, girls who have something to see in the 9th grade already have something to tell in the 11th grade.

And in joy and sorrow, no matter what the stress, keep your brains, tongue and weight under control!

Dear dream! I remember long ago in childhood we had disagreements... But now I realized that I love you!

It seems to me that we need to create a service where lonely socks could find a pair...

Listen, you are already an independent adult. You are 25 years old. Your girlfriend, not your mother, should decide everything for you a long time ago!

Nothing helps you realize how much crap is in your brain like solving crossword puzzles...

The non-smoking area in a pub is like a non-smoking lane in a swimming pool.

I wanted to save money for my old age... For now I had to temporarily postpone my old age.

An effective sign to combat those who litter: “When throwing garbage on the street, do not forget to grunt.”

When a philosopher answers a question, you cease to understand the question itself.

You need to do what you do best. I'll go to bed and watch some TV series.

There is no greater temptation in the world than sticking your finger into the mouth of a yawning cat.

Sometimes you wait for years for a miracle... And it comes - in feathers...

Nothing develops leadership skills like the morning bus.

I can divide my life into two periods: “Something crazy is going on around me” and “I’m sleeping.”

It seems like today is Wednesday, but I want to kill everyone like it’s Monday.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he parks his yacht.

The inscription on the product “Made in Great Britain” raises my doubts...

Some people think that they live actively. In fact, they just fuss tirelessly.

It can be so bad that even black cats give way...

They say that if you eat chocolate, your mood will improve.... Nonsense! We also need to wash it down with champagne!

Why take out a 4 million mortgage and pay it off for 25 years? When you can steal 4 million and serve only 7 million!

And God grant you doubly what you wish for me.

 

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